Family Devotions
A recent Barna report noted that fewer than one out of 10 families who consider themselves to be born-again Christians read the Bible together during a typical week.
– Diane Comer
For many of us, the phrase “family devotions” evokes a nagging sense of parenting failure. It’s something we know we should probably do, but have a hard time keeping up. We’re not held accountable for the spiritual education of our children in the same way we are for schoolwork or extracurricular activities; we’re not given a gridwork for it, much less coached on it. And we all know how it feels to begin with idealistic good intentions, only to find it falling apart in real life or being lost by the wayside as schedules get busier.
Why bother? For me, it comes down to this: is it more important that my children have successful careers and hobbies, or that they love Jesus and understand how to grow in spiritual maturity? Hopefully, they have both—but if I look at how we spend our resources, how much time, money, and energy am I putting into the former compared to the latter? Our kids learn math and reading and writing; they learn how to swim a good freestyle and play scales. When do they get exposure to the Bible? When do they learn techniques for studying it, or a worldview for applying faith to real life, or what it’s like to pray? Our kids go to public schools. Sunday school experience has been variable in the pandemic. If they aren’t getting spiritually formative material from us, they may not be consistently getting it elsewhere. And our kids are getting old enough for us to realize that the window of time we have with them won’t last forever.
The purpose of family devotions is to regularly engage our kids with the Bible. There may be some element of family sharing or prayer involved, but that’s the main thing. Here are some tips to consider:
keep it short, simple and consistent. Don’t try to fit in too much. It’s more important to do something regularly than to do something longer and more involved that will be difficult to keep up. Tailor to the kids’ attention spans, which will vary depending on age and time of day.
with multiple age groups, aim towards older kids. We’ve found that younger kids follow along more easily than older kids handle their boredom, so we generally aim for engaging the older age range.
do what works for you. Don’t compare yourself with other families (or with the stock photos that accompany articles on family devotions). It’s always good to get inspiration, but remember that each family will probably do it differently, and messiness in the process or outcome is okay.
don’t expect a particular result. Outcomes are not immediate, or sometimes ever visible. Think about why you do devotions, even if you don’t feel like it: it’s so you can fill the tank for later. It’s so you can be obedient to follow Jesus. It’s so you can have truths that may germinate and bear fruit for you or others years later. Family devotions work the same way for your kids.
be willing to pivot and/or start again. Like school or extracurricular activities, how you do devotions is going to change year-to-year (or even month-to-month) as your kids grow, so you’ve got to be willing to adapt. You might need to find a different time of day as schedules change, or try new resources as they age up. And never be afraid of simply starting again if you’ve stopped for a while.
modeling trumps devotions any day. Your kids seeing how you live out your faith, whether it really matters to you, is worth more than any family devotion. Do they hear you discussing spiritual matters? Do they see you reading your Bible? What attitudes towards faith are they picking up? How readily do you confess wrongs; what are you showing them about how you handle your own sin?
find positive associations. My mom once offered a piece of advice when I was frustrated trying to get our kids to do devotions—give them ice cream. So yes, I’m confessing that we resorted to simple Pavlovian bribery, but hey, it worked. “Bible time” became synonymous with “dessert time,” to the point that they would ask for it if we forgot.
Keeping in mind that you should do what works for you, here are some ideas for content:
read a devotional book that offers Biblical content in an age-appropriate manner, particularly when the kids are younger: my sister shared this article with suggested resources for all ages.
learn about the lives of famous Christians from the past: I’ve been inspired by these biographies, and we’ve used 131 Christians Everyone Should Know
go through a kid-friendly catechism: we’ve used the kid version of the New City Catechism and Big Truths for Little Kids
read through a theology book: we’ve used The Ology
open a hymn book together: this is a BSF legacy—hymns have such rich lyrics and I love the way the tunes stay with our kids. We use the Trinity Hymnal.
share prayer requests and pray together: this can be done generally, or as my sister suggests, you can assign one prayer topic (someone in the family, country in the world, your city or church, extended family or friends) for each day of the week. She uses Window on the World, which includes a way to pray for each country.
memorize the books of the Bible, or Bible verses: kids have an amazing capacity for memory, and building this habit early is a great thing to do. Memorizing the books of the Bible in order gives them greater literacy, and can be combined with a brief overview of what each book is like. Memorizing verses encourages meditation and can be done in short segments.
read the Bible: particularly as the kids get older, we’ve begun simply reading the Bible itself rather than turning to a devotional book—eventually, that is the skill and habit we want them to have for life. We began with books like Psalms, Proverbs, the epistles, the gospels, and parts of Genesis. We’ll be trying out the Family Worship Bible this year as a companion.
Building a habit of family devotions is like any other spiritual practice: it orients your family around what is important. It provides a structure and builds a culture that paves the way for other kinds of family discussions and moments. It is one way we steward our children faithfully in the time we have with them. Is it sometimes chaotic, or inconsistent, or does it often have to be reworked? Yes, yes, and yes. But how we pick up again tells our family something just as important: that the spiritual life does not depend on the perfection of our achievements. It depends on God’s grace and power in us, and our faithful response through the ups and downs of life.
