Feeling Thankful Vs. Giving Thanks

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
– 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The benefits of gratitude are well-documented: it improves physical health, helps in making friends, decreases toxic emotions, enhances empathy, reduces aggression and depression, and improves sleep, self-esteem, and general well-being. There are a plethora of gratitude exercises out there, which generally fall under four major categories:

• journaling: regularly write down a few things you are grateful for, as briefly or descriptive as you’d like. Options include jounaling daily (list 3-5 things on a daily) or something less frequent like the 3x3 approach (write down 3 things you’re grateful for, 3 days of the week). Consider prompts like: “I’m grateful for this thing that I hear/see/feel/taste” “Has someone done something for me?” “Is there a challenge that I can be grateful for?” “Did I see something in nature?” etc.

• expressing gratitude to others: options include leaving a surprise thank-you note on someone’s desk or pillow, giving someone a surprise call, or doing an act of service as a token of appreciation. Share compliments with yourself and others. Hand-write a letter to someone you are grateful for—be detailed, expressing qualities about them you appreciate or giving examples. As a corollary, commit to complaining less.

• using an object reminder: have a physical object that serves as a cue or prompt to be thankful. Examples include having a gratitude jar (everyone writes things they are grateful for on slips of paper and puts it in throughout the day; later they can be read together), a gratitude collage (take photos of things you are grateful for and assemble a collage), or a gratitude tree (put up a print-out or drawing of a tree on the wall, have everyone write down things they are grateful for on paper leaves and tape them up on the tree)

• doing physical activities with a grateful state of mind: take a “gratitude walk” where you focus on your breathing, your steps, and your surroundings, noticing the positive things around you. Practice “mindful eating,” taking small bites and appreciating textures, flavors and aromas while you chew. Spend time during prayer or meditation to focus on gratitude.

The Bible makes no secret of the fact that thankfulness should be a way of life for those who follow Jesus. The more we know God, the more our lives should be marked by and overflowing with gratitude (Ezra 3:11, Daniel 2:23, Colossians 2:7). Conversely, we are frequently commanded to be grateful as it allows us to grow in worship, love, and peace (Philippians 4:6-7, Ephesians 5:18-20, Hebrews 12:28-29).

But the kind of thankfulness the Bible talks about differs from the gratitude of popular psychology, in two ways. It is unique in both source and scope.

First, in source: the word the Bible often uses is interesting. It is not gratitude or even thankfulness. The word the Bible uses is thanksgiving—giving thanks to someone. Feeling gratitude is not the same as giving thanks. Feeling gratitude simply means that you appreciate something that you have; you feel grateful for it. Giving thanks means that you acknowledge someone as the source of the thing that you are grateful for. Feeling gratitude is like appreciating a good book; giving thanks is acknowledging the person who wrote it. It is the act of attribution. And attribution is everything, isn’t it? There is a world of difference between appreciating a pretty flower in a vase, and knowing that your husband gave it to you.

Thanksgiving is like seeing that someone wrote the book and sent the flowers. It is realizing that everything in your life, everything in this world—your child, the night sky, a cozy blanket— every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from God (James 1:17). The things you appreciate in life are not just good in and of themselves: they are good because they are an expression of the character of God and his love for you. And so, your natural response is not to simply feel grateful, but to give thanks to that God. That is why the Psalms say over and over again, not “I will have gratitude,” but “I will give thanks” (Psalm 7:17, 9:1, 35:18). 

Secondly, in scope. Most of the items listed in our gratitude journals are probably going to be positive experiences. It isn’t too hard to be grateful for good things. But what the Bible does is completely redefine the concept of “good”—if Romans 8:28 (“and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good”) is to be taken seriously, then everything that happens to us right now is for our eternal good. No exceptions. And so everything is something we can be grateful for, even trials and suffering (James 1:2, 1 Peter 1:6-7). There is nothing outside of the scope of Biblical thankfulness. Sometimes I think that is why the Bible talks about offering up a “sacrifice of praise” (Hebrews 13:15)—sometimes, it costs us something to be thankful. Sometimes it isn’t easy. Sometimes thankfulness is not an emotion or feeling at all, but an acknowledgment of faith, a way of telling God, I believe in your promises.

Ephesians 5:20 says it all: “giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father.” Give thanks to God the Father. Give thanks for everything. Biblical thankfulness goes far beyond self-generated gratitude, in both source and scope, and understanding that is understanding how to live out thanksgiving as a way of life.